Can we say so ?

Copied and pasted from an email from a male reader.

Can We say so?

I was chatting with this lovely young lady last month...ya know, daily general issues trying to read between lines to know each others more.

Few days later, she told me that I'm a great person, but TOO MUCH FOR HER!!!
OK?....(we do use those words when we want to break up "smoothly"....Don't we?!

Surprise was, She asked me if she can introduce me to one of her friends whom is intelligent and has the same interest of mine and whom is SEARCHING my personality type....!!!!!

okay, I replied...networking will kill no one...

.....and I'm glad she did!....The lady she introduced is one of my best friends now and I'm so proud to have one.

My question is, If I say to a woman you're not my type and I want to introduce you to a guy who is, would she say Yes, or she'll be offended and reply with anger "I can handle,and have a long list of admirers waiting, and for the records you were at eh end of the list"???????

I'd love to hear comments from women on your blog too...

Read before you write

A lot of people who use online dating know that sometimes people just email you becasue they had seen the photo  or simply because u were on the online users list at the time he /she wrote the email.

I always look at  the persons profile before i email him and if someone emails me i always  look at his profile before i reply. Common sense, right ?

Apparently not everyone has common sense.

I received this email

'Hello there,

I really felt like writing to you after reading your profile carefully. I feel we have some similarities and we are looking for he same things. I don't judge people by the looks but its also good to be with someone who is beautiful on the inside and the outside. The picture you have on your profile captured my attention, something in your eyes just spoke to me.'

Now, i was happy reading the email till the last sentence, till "my eyes captured his attention and actually (spoke) to him",  I didn't know my eyes could do speak to people especially when there are no photos of me or my eyes on my profile.

Dating tip of the day : Actually look at the profiles of the person you are writing to. Its common sense and common courtesy.

Some women are like ..

Some women are like

Comets.
All are beautiful, but they are cold as ice.

Computers.
Everything is stored in long-term memory for easy retrieval later on.

Cats.
They are cuddly and playful, but watch out when their claws come out!

Parrots.
They love to repeat things.

A game of Scrabble.
Their vocabulary is endless and always in play.

Christmas Trees.
The more gifts they have, the merrier they become.

Giraffes.
They beautiful to look at, but hard to keep.

Some men are like

Some men are like

Puppies.
They're cute at first, but you soon tired of picking up their crap.

Remote controls.
Chances are you'll find them lying by the TV.

Parking spaces at a popular mall.
The good ones are all taken.

Computers.
In order to get their attention, you must first turn them on.

Fine wine.
They take a long time to mature.

Oatmeal.
If they sit too long, they become lumpy.

Mascara.
They run at the first sign of tears.

Silverware.
They on appear only when there is food on the table.

Cats.
Only moving objects get their attention.

Dogs.
They take up too much space on the bed..

Fish.
They're easy to catch with food.

Text Messages.
The shorter the message, the easier it is for them to understand

The Book Club

I was chatting back and forth with this 'seemingly ' intelligent and cultured guy. He was very well read and can carry conversation on many topics. Perfect.

 "I love reading, I have thousands of books on various topics. Do you like reading ?"  he asked me on the phone one time. I don't like reading and i cant pretend  so i said "honestly no, i  have the concentration spam of a gold fish , 3 seconds. By the time i read  two pages of any novel, i cant remember what had happened  on the first page", " i do read a lot of magazines and articles though" ( after all i don't want to be totally ignorant, do I ?) .

He said maybe one night we can go to the book club, it might be something to encourage you to read. The idea was not appealing to me, i know myself. I will never be able to read a book and sit in a room full of people to discuss it. I told Mr. Dater that maybe there are other things we could do together for a date, but maybe the book club is just not for me.

On one  evening, Mr. Dater called me and said he has a book that he wants me to read and that maybe we can 'discuss ' it after  I had read it. "please don't say no till you try reading it" he begged.

This is gonna turn into a situation here. "OK , fair enough, I will try reading ".

We met for coffee one evening, our first date, we spoke  about different things,  as usual. When it was time to leave , Mr.  Dater walked me to my car and said that he has something in his car for me and asked if I would wait for a  minute while he gets it.

I waited in excitement , wondering what it was. 

Mr. Dater came back with a rectangular shaped package wrapped in pink wrapping paper. Mmm , i was wondering what that is,maybe a book or a box of chocolate .

I opened the door to my car and he  asked me to open this when i reach home and he said maybe this will give us  something to do on our next date. I was thinking to myself  'its definitely chocolate ' or ' Maybe he really wants to do this book club thing and this is the book am supposed to read'

I went home, and unwrapped the package, not chocolate.  

The package had a  book. " The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra ". A very subtle hint to what he had in mind for  our next date.

Habibti Mariam

Well, this is definitely not something you usually see written in  a dating profile .

A gentleman has this written in his bio:

I am only here for my Habibtii Mariam. Always and forever my soul mate and LOVE OF MY LIFE! About me:

About me :

My Habibtii Mariam has my heart, mind and soul. She is my Master, and I am her Master. When we are together magic happens.

         I'm looking for:

She knows who she is. And she is smiling :-) She is my perfect match and I will never let her go.

Relationship status:  In a relationship ( Relationship with Mariam, I assume)

The question is if  Mr. Dater and Mariam have hooked up, why  is his profile still on the dating site ?

Explanation # 1 :Maybe this is his  way to tell the world that online dating actually works, and you can find your soul mate , the love of your life, never ending love,etc,etc,etc.

Explanation # 2: Mr. Dater and Mariam maybe need to spice up their life a little and want some extra curriculum action .

Note to Mariam : I  hope you know that you have this head over heels admirer and that  he isn't some Internet stalker. I wish i could read your profile, if you have one ,to see if this is mutual.

How to spot a married dater

I was chatting with a gentleman today who told me about his dating  experience. He had dated a lady for 9 months before she came clean and told him that she was married. Nine months, yes. I don't know how she could  pull that off .

This post is intended to  give you some help on how to spot if the person  your dating is 'really' single or if he /she has a wife or husband at home.

If he /she never answers your calls, but always makes a point of calling you  back

If he /she carry more than one  phone, and  you have only  a number for only one of the phones

if he /she makes a point when you meet to meet up in an area as far as possible from where they  live

if he/she never calls you when they are actually at home  but   call you when they are in the car or at work,

If he /she switches the phone off when they are home

If he /she avoids appearing in a crowded  public place with you

If he /she  insists on having meals in restaurants with private cabins

if he /she always always puts you on hold to take a  call waiting, but  never answers you when they are on  another call

If he /she doesn't call or meet up on weekends or public holidays

If  he  asks you not  to wear make up when you meet up (just in case it smears his dishdasha or shirt)

If he/she disconnects the call abruptly in the middle of conversation and  does not call you back right away

Doctor, can you do a quick check up ?

OK , i just saw this and i could not not share it. A guy on a dating site, could not come up with a nickname other than

gynecologist

And for the readers  who do not know what a gynecologist is , here is the definition "A doctor who specializes in treating diseases of the female reproductive organs" & in Arabic" طبيب امراض نساء و ولادة"

I find this very weird.  Did the doctor think that this is his strength point  on a dating site ? Maybe  the ladies on the site might  want  him to take a quick look , down there ? Or maybe  he has better chances than the rest of the guys because he is an expert  on the female organs ?

I think i am going to write a book on how to pick nicknames.

Drama for Dummies

How  to spot a drama queen  or king  before reading the profile ?

Easy .Very simple. People with drama tendencies try and hide amongst  us, blend in . Of course a lot of them are so well disguised that  you will need time to spot them, however , some of  them   are so obvious.

Here are some examples of nicknames for some drama lovers . Names are copied from a popular Arabic  dating site.

SadMan  (very self explanatory)

BrokenHeart2008 (i guess the heart got broken 2008 and hasn't been fixed yet)

JulietHasAGun (A Juliet with a gun , ready to shoot )

UnbreakMyHeart

BadLove

LoveNomore (be warned , no love coming your way from this person

NoLove4Me (she is not looking for love, so i wonder what she is looking for )

MalekAlA7zan (king of sadness- This is Drama in the flesh )

Alam (pain)

QalbiYe3warni (my heart is aching - Probably in the rebound phase, be warned)

IcantBreathe (perhaps a  visit to the doctor is more appropriate than registering on a dating site ?)

DyingBird (I wonder if he is still alive now)

Osfoora7azina (Sad bird)

SaveMe  (from  yourself, perhaps ?)

Sha3erAlAlam  (the poet of sadness - In pain and a poet, look no further . Real drama here)

AlamAlLeel (the pains of the night- does that mean the mornings are pain free ? or does it mean that night has the ability to inflict pain ?)

If these people were not drama lovers, they surely have made a bad bad choice when they  picked up their nicknames.

The honest truth

A  REAL conversation that took place between a female i know and a guy that she chatted with.

Mr.Dater chatted with my friend for sometime, and she thought  he is OK.  He asked her for her phone number, and she gave it to him. My friend is an American , and Mr. Dater is a German, not that nationalities matter .

Mr. Dater calls my friend and after the greetings that lasted maybe less than a minute the  following conversation took place:

Mr. Dater: Would you like to meet up for coffee ?

My friend : Sounds good.

Mr. Dater : Perhaps coffee then we can have sex ?

My friend  laughs and says : Noooo (she  thinks he is joking )

Mr. Dater : Perhaps Lunch then we can have sex ?

My friend , laughing : Nooooo (she  still thinks he is joking )

Mr. dater : Maybe dinner then sex ?

My friend : NOOOO

Mr. Dater : Perhaps just sex then ?

At that point my friend realised that Mr. Dater is not joking. I assume she still said no .

The moral of the story is; Germans  are great , very  serious & straightforward. When a German asks you if you want to have sex, he is not joking.

No offence  intended to any nationality .

There will be blood

We had been  chatting for weeks, on and off.  Mr. Dater was not the creepy type (which is very rare ), Intelligent, smart, well -read   and has a very strong personality . He says he believes in women's role in society and  he supports women in every  possible way . Perfect .

We decide to meet up for dinner  one evening. "where would you prefer to go ?:" .I  am very easy to please when it comes to food, i can eat anything anywhere. "Your choice, am flexible", i  said.

We agreed to have dinner at a famous steak  restaurant.  I arrived in time, and he was there on time.  So far , so good.

The smiley waitress comes to hand the menus. He  asked me if I would like him to  order for me , and i said I  prefer to order myself since i know what i want anyway, you can never go wrong with Steak Au Poivre. I told the  waitress  my order and she said "ma'am  you want that well done ?" , I replied "medium rare". the waitress said but madam that will be pink from the inside.  I said that i did know that , and that's what i will  be having. Thanks for your concerns but i love my steak  medium rare.

My Dater placed his order then the waitress left.  I was looking at my mobile phone and when i lifted my  face up , Mr. Dater was staring at me , with a weird crooked smile on his face he said "women should not eat food   that  rough cowboys eat". HUH, WTH  was this all about , He continued saying  "maybe you should reconsider your choice, women are delicate creatures, perhaps some juice in their steak is not appropriate, women are not vampires".

At this point i was finding this very amusing and very funny  . So i gave him my  best smile ever and i said " what can i say, I love some blood in my meat, perhaps i was a vampire in a past life OR maybe i am  a vampire in this life". He gave me this icy  stare  and said "You are not funny".  (Moron, of course am funny, you , however are  a control freak)

The food came, we ate in silence and he did not look once at me. I had this urge to leave but I was gonna have my pinky bloody cowboy steak even  if the sky collapsed over my head.

After that Steak dinner we  never spoke to each other again.

The moral of the story : If you like your steak medium rare,  control freaks  might think you are a vampire.

The other side of dating

Received from a MALE co-dater ( great,  for a change not all stories are from females ) , men too have stories to tell . Posted As is.

100% TRUE!

---

Mona sent me a “flower” on one of dating sites….a virtual flower with an “I’m interested” comment. I like ladies who take first moves, why not if she trusts herself?
We chatted for a few days; she was nice, smart, educated with sense of humor. She said she was looking for only a friend, and she was sick of men always asking for sex and talking about nothing but sex..and explained how much she felt comfortable talking to me since I’m “different”!!!
One night, She sent me a msg asking me to call her urgently if I can, I did and she was crying…She told me that she met someone, his name was Jasem, a Pilot ( why most men are Pilots on dating sites), and she loves the hell out of him….he told her LATER he is married with 2 kids…and was asking for some time to settle his family issues and come back to her to live happily forever…( typical BS story from Jasem).....

To cut the story short, I believed her ...and was acting like a TRUE FRIEND…and told her many times I’ll be there for her whenever she needs me….Being THAT friend whom supposed to be a good listener, and strong shoulder to rely on, my advice was to let him go, and I told her he is a liar and Bshitting, but she kept telling me (msgs, Emails) how sad she was…,Jasem is not returning my calls, Jasem went to Dubai, I miss Jasem….blah blah blah

A few days later, I was surprised she sent me her Pic without asking her, a cute beautiful baby face with a sexy body…and asked me for mine in return…RED FLAG!...I called her and said I don’t send my pics to anyone, and If she wants to see me, Starbucks is always there…she was like PLEAAAASSSE…….And, guess what…I sent her one!

Next day, I received the following msg from her “ I’m free tonight….If you want an erotic massage, it’ll cost you 40 KD for 2 hours, plus you pay for TAXI!.....

DUH!!!!....why should I pay for the Taxi too???...LOL

The moral is, Prostitutes are on dating sites too…

Microsoft Office Excel Dating

This is a true story. All the incidents or things i write here are, but this is just so shocking to me, that i had to remind you all that this actually did happen. I was told the events after the dating period between the couple ended.

 Nancy  and Barney (Not real names) worked together at the same company , she is an engineer and he is a financial controller , they come from  different Arab countries  and work in an international Oil company .

Anyway things did not work out after few months and they broke up. So, Barney came to Nancy's office after the break up with an excel sheet. He told her they have some matters to settle.

The excel sheet was an accounting  sheet of all the money they had  spent in cafes and restaurants during all the time they dated. They had somehow come to this policy where each one of them pays one time. So   Barney pays today at Sakura, Nancy pays tomorrow at Applebees, the next time Barney pays at Mais Al Ghanim the time after  Nancy pays  at  Le Notre.

Good policy or bad policy , i cant really  tell .  With all the talk  of women's equality, maybe it is justified that a highly paid woman should pay her  share in whatever food she is consuming while she is dating,  God knows. This is not the shocking part.

 Back to Barney and Nancy, so he is at her office with this Excel sheet that  registers every penny they spent while dining out together or going for coffee. He thinks there are few discrepancies that needed to be settled.

He says " see the highlighted fields, these times i paid more than what you paid on the following date, therefore, there are discrepancies that occurred. The amount you owe me due to the difference is KD 137. This copy is for your reference, Please arrange for payment" .

No comment needed .

A man with special needs

The below is  from a users profile on a  dating site for mesyar marriage. For those of you who are reading and don't know what mesyar is , it is a form of marriage where a man  goes to the lady every now and then, they don't live together, he is not supporting her, he is not responsible for any expenses  and when they divorce, she doesn't have any rights.

Usually both parties who get into this are  looking for a purely sexual relationship.

Read and weep , or read and laugh, depending on how sad or funny you may find this.

I have kept the text in Arabic , this is a copy and paste from the profile.

أدور واحده ترضي بالمسيار . لا تكون راعية مشاكل و نكد. تكون ما تسمع اغاني و لا تطالع التلفزيون و لا  تطلع من البيت  و تكون ساكنه في بيت اهلها  . المهم انها  ما تطلع  و لو تكون فيها شلل رباعي  يكون افضل المهم يكون عندها القدره علي الممارسه الجنسيه و ما تحتاج عنايه او يكون عندها خدامة تساعدها.

اللي تروح السوق و تطلع لا تراسلني

The translation of the above text:  i want to marry mesyar style, someone who is not into creating problems and drama, she should not listen to music , watch TV or go out. She should be living with her family . The most important thing is that she doesn't leave the house, Its even better if  she is a quadriplegic as long as she can have sex. If you are into going out to the malls, don't email me. 

 So, the dude wants to  make sure his wife is a stay home wife, to the extent that he prefers her to be a quadriplegic  as long as she can & will have sex.



Pathetic.

Time after time

Received from a Co-dater 

After few weeks of chatting/emails/phone calls , Hamad and I agreed it was time to  meet up . He was a very nice guy with lots of charms. When he suggested to meet up at one of the restaurants in Al Bidea Area  ,  at 730,  i was so excited.

I reached there on time , I don't  like to walk into a place on my own, so i stayed in the car waiting for him to call me when he gets there. Half hour passed and Hamad had not  arrived or answered his phone. I was thinking 'classic' ,  the  guy stood me up . Finally at 8 he called me and said the  he was on the way . Ten minutes later, he was there. We had dinner and he did not bring this 'delay' issue again. No apology offered and no explanation either.

Dinner was fine, he is a good conversationalist, i had a good time.

Few days later, he  asked me for another date . I agreed, he suggested dinner at yet another restaurant in Al Bidea area. Dinner at 8 . " Please don't be late" he said, "I like people who come on time". Seriously? words coming from the guy who kept me waiting for 45 minutes on the first date !

I am always on time, At 8 i was in my car , at the parking lot in front of the restaurant. Same scenario. Hamad is not here and he is not answering his phone .20 minutes later he called and asked me if i was there .

"yes i am THERE, been here for the past 25 minutes'. He said he will be here in ten minutes and he was.

Greeting me with a smile, he said  he lives  in the residential area close by and its less than 5  minutes  drive from his house. Great, so close, yet your always  late, was my comment,

Hamad Smiled and said women don't usually come on time, so its better he comes after i actually reach there . HUH., OK. I am thinking  to myself  " Is that so? PAYBACK is due".

So the third time he asked me out , i told him i wanted to go to this restaurant in Al Kout mall ( as far as  possible from his house).Hamad tried to convince me to change location but i was stubborn as a mule.

8 o'clock, don't be late , he said. In my mind i was thinking "oh no , i wont be late".

So at 815 . i called him and asked where he was . He asked me " did you reach there?" . My reply was "yes, i am , where are you ?" . Hamad said he was getting ready to leave the house, needs about half hour to reach Al kout mall in Fahaheel.

At 9 o'clock, he called me "where are you ? Am here at the Lebanese restaurant". I told him that i went around to look at the shops and i was trying some  blouses. I will be there in few minutes."please go ahead and order, am starving" . I gave him a list of what i want , lots of  food , i was starving.  

Ten minutes later he called me , and he was like the food is here, yalla come .

Hamad was at the restaurant , in Al Kout , staring at food waiting for me and i was sitting in my living room watching TV, I had not made a move from my house in the first place.

Payback  feels good, don't you agree ?

Symmetrical dating

Symmetry (the definition is from  Merriam Webster Dictionary )

balanced proportions; also : beauty of form arising from balanced proportions or having similarity in size, shape, and relative position of corresponding parts.When two halves of an object are mirror images of each other.

So,  I had been chatting back and forth with Mr. H for few weeks. Mr. H is  divorced, 44, has a good sense of humor and so far he  has not asked for a "web cam" viewing or any  of those things that make me want to block him.

At some point we exchanged  mobile numbers, spoke on the phone one time and mainly stayed in touch via emails/chats. Perfect . No phone stalking.

We decided to meet for coffee .We chatted on the messenger right before we were gonna meet . Mr. Dater asked me what i was gonna wear. Maybe  he is particular about the dress code, didn't want to over dress or under dress . Told him i was wearing a jeans and a T-shirt. He asked me about the colour . "black Tshirt " i said.

Mr. Dater showed in  Dark Blue Jeans and a black linen shirt that looked very neat. He looked like he stepped out of a photo shoot for the summer line of  one of the casual designers. Cool. had a good time, chatting about  the usual things, nothing too personal .

Few days Later , we agreed on meeting again. Right before i was getting ready to get dressed he came on the messenger and asked me "what are you gonna wear ?". I had not thought that far yet, had to decide  that very minute coz he HAD to know. "jeans and a printed floral t-shirt." I said. There was  no typing on the other end, then my phone rang. H was calling. "would you please  wear a solid colour ?, I think solid colours  would look better on you". Wow, a man who knows about what to wear and what looks good. OK , i can live with that. SO be it. I  told him i will wear a green  blouse and black pants.

We met  at the cafe , he walked in wearing  jet black jeans and a green polo shirt. The man looks good in any colour, i was thinking to myself.

A couple of days later , i was having coffee with my best friend . H called me and asked me if  he can have coffee with us ,I said OK . He  said he was going to come  in  half an hour he just needs to change quickly and come over. "what are you wearing ?" he asked , "jeans and a  purple shirt" i said.

After i hung up, my friend asked ' why is he asking what are you wearing ?" Good question . I have no answer.

He showed up  in time, dressed in washed jeans and this  very dark purple   linen shirt ,sleeves rolled up. Damn, this dude knows  how to dress.

We had a great time. He stayed for  half an hour then left .My  friend  and I sat there chatting.

My friend said "He wears the same colours that you wear, that's why he asks you what are you wearing".

Mmm, i hadn't  really figured  that out till that point. Its kind of cute in a way but also creepy.

A couple of more dates over coffee went exactly the same way. Me, being me, i just couldn't   not mention it.

Sipping coffee on  our last date ,  i said to him " Its amazing how you always come wearing the same colours like i am '.  Mr. H  gave me this huge smile and said " Symmetry is  the way  for a perfect life".

Symmetry, not for me . I go with Chaos wholeheartedly.

No symmetrical dating for me.

Maths, Biology & Art

WHY does  someone lie on the physical description  they right about themselves (body description), especially if that person is constantly nagging to meet up? Could it be that when he wrote the profile he  did not think that far ahead, or maybe was hoping the lady would be blinded by his charm and wont notice , or simply plain good old fashioned stupidity.

I have not figured an  answer other than the simple fact that everybody lies. Here is a simple dating incident.

Most of the sites in the physical description part ask you to chose , height, wight, etc. Some of them ask a figure  while others have a selection of  words that you chose from.

So here i am going on a date with  Mr. Dater with the following attributes

Athletic (Plz note that there are other options like Average,  ample , a little extra padding, Big and tall )

190 cms (of course there are all the height options you can think of )

Mid tone  (This particular site goes by skin colour , so other options are white, mid tone , dark, black)

I walked into Starbucks and i was  greeted by  someone who is about 175, weighs at least 160 Kgs and is black. I was somewhat shocked, I definitely didn't expect Mr. dater to be short , fat and black.

Don't get me wrong, i am not a racist , i have nothing against fat people or darker skin tone or shorter people. I dont judge people by how they look but am against being lied to. Seriously , did  he think  maybe I wouldn't notice the description was totally different  ?

Anyway, so  he had the guts to ask me "Did  u think i looked like this? ". The man has steel balls, doesn't he ? well, two can play that game. I said "I think you miscalculated your weight perhaps OR mizankom 7`rban , as for the height , a lot of people don't actually know their height " .
He smiled at me , thought i was cute and  funny, till i continued " and your  skin colour is not mid tone, you are as black as possible " . He was shocked or embarrassed maybe. A couple of minutes later i left.

The moral is Truth never kills anyone, lying does.

I know i will say this over and over again; Everybody lies, however, men on dating sites lie more than the average person and think they will get away with it.

what men want

I received a question  from "7ayrana" in an email . She seems to be confused and going through a lot of doubt as to what is happening in the dating scene .
Her question is : What do men  want ?

Dear 7ayrana
Be 7ayrana no more.
I have one word for you "S - E - X". That's the  answer, very simple . No matter what a guy says he wants or thinks he wants, in reality he just wants one thing.

Louis Vuitton Purse

Mr. Dater and  Moi chatted back  & forth . So far , he seemed smart and interesting. He is divorced which qualifies him  for a date over coffee. You know the drill by now, if he is married, then he isn't a potential date.

Mr. Dater  has a wide range of interests, cars, Bikes, musics, movies, world issues and animal planet. .

Anyway, we meet up for coffee in the morning since we both weren't working that day. The cafe was almost empty and the weather was very nice we decided to sit on the tables outside.

here we are, across the table from each other , talking about life, work, family & movies. Time passed quickly and before we know it,  an hour had passed. Mr. Dater looked at his watch and i took that as a sign that means that he is either bored or has things to do and needs to make a move.

Just before i was about to say "shall we leave?', Mr. Dater says " I have always been curious about women's purses", "what do women keep in these big purses?" and his eyes stare at my relatively big purse.

Interesting topic, A lot of men do wonder about purses. Guys can fit everything they need in their pockets whereas women are cursed with carrying bags. So Obviously its not strange or weird for a guy to wonder and ask about purses. Its so big of a matter that Oprah made a whole episode on her show about what women carry in their  purses.

I said'  I obviously have my wallet, a perfume,  a small notepad and pen, tissue paper, a tiny make -up purse and chewing gum"

Nothing prepared me for the words that came out of his lips next .

Mr. Dater  said " You don't have condoms? Should we swing by a pharmacy & pick up some ? I never have unsafe sex".

Moral of the story: When something feels too good to be true, it is actually too good to be true.

The Perfect Nickname

One of the most challenging tasks  is  coming up with a nickname on a dating site.  The nickname says something about you and might very well determine whether someone will view your profile or not. Its the first impression you leave on someone browsing hundreds of nicknames.

A problem that you may encounter is that probably all good nicknames are taken, especially on a popular site. Another problems is that maybe, just maybe ,you are not that smart or creative to come up with a name that leaves a good impression.

The following nicknames  are copied  from one of the dating sites. I didn't edit any or make up any of these nicknames.

Jeekar-bedoun (what are the chances of meeting someone of you are stateless & ugly?)

VivaNotZain (Thanks for the info, I did not know that Viva is not Zain)

Moot3a-200Kd (Very straightforward, المختصر المفيد )

28611011014XX  (The number on the site  did not have the XXs, it was an actual civil ID number)

HotManWayed (  he Hot dude is warning ladies so they know they will be getting a lot of you know what )

3elch (Really , you couldn't think of anything else to represent you ? علج )

M3boochKuwaiti (He must have been having lunch when he was creating his profile)

NBK-CBK (The only place where the two banking giants of Kuwait will exist together is on a dating site)

Qabee7Gedann ( قبيح جدا ... الله يعينك )

ModeerFa7al مدير فحل) -يا ترا بشهاده منو ؟)

Sayrti-Aqsa6 (My car is on installments)- In case any of the ladies out there wants to help with the aqsa6

Madyon-Sa3deeni (A real Cry for help, In debt, help me)

Zooj-al-thalatha (Married twice obviously and looking for lucky number 3)

888666 (This is KFC's home delivery number. The Dude works there or is doing ambush marketing for KFC)

ElvisIsAlive (Thank God Elvis is Alive. All these years i had my doubts).

7azeen7eel (داش الموقع ينكد علي العالم)

Dawa-Ca7a (A cry for help I wonder if is feeling better now )

VeryShort (What is very short ? The man , or the tool?)

CoolGay (I think he meant CoolGuy )

MarinaFM (Another form of ambush marketing. I think Marina FM should pay him for the free ad)

DontTrustMen (The advice is coming from a man, need I say more?)

Uff-Mabee ( ليش داش عيال  اذا مالك خلق)

طيعيني

Although this blog is about dating, and this following story doesn't really qualify as a dating incident but I just had to share it.
A friend of mine visited me today , after returning from Hajj.  I have to say this, my friend is a  lady in her 50s and she is veiled and a very well covered up lady. This introduction is essential  so that you can grasp the shock i had after she told me.
Time: During Hajj
Place : One of the cities where some of the Hajj rituals take place
Victim: Dr. H
Victim #2 : Lady N
 Dr. H is in a taxi, in one of the religious cities in KSA, and she gets in and tells the driver her destination. the taxi driver her tells her the following "طيعيني و اعطيج 30 ريال "
My friend is speechless.  30 Riyals, come on dude. During Hajj ? WTH ??
Dr. H goes back to her hotel room and  tells the story to one of the ladies in her hotel . Lady N has the biggest smile on her  and  tells her " I was offered 100 Riyals from my taxi driver, your cheap".

Pepper spray would have been so appropriate  or perhaps a taser applied  on a very sensitive  body organ.

Don't say a word

Meeting a stranger can be very stressful . You really don't know what to say and what not to say. There is this area of things that remain uncomfortable to talk about. For instance, i wouldn't ask someone how much money they are making , i wouldn't ask him is his car on installments or paid in cash. Financial issues are meant to be private and am sure even a man will agree with me.

That being said, men hate to be asked about their finances, its a "private matter". On the other hand , to men body matters are OK to talk about. Weird , huh?

Mr. Dater who had chatted with me back and forth, and managed  not to ask me to open the web cam (great, right ?). After few weeks of chatting on and off , he asked to meet up  for coffee.  We agreed on a time and a place. He came right on time, very impressive.

He walked right to where i was sitting as the place was empty and i given a good  description of how i look and what i will wear. He sat across the table , took off the sunshades.

Ready for the shock ? The first words that cam out of his mouth were " wow. great  ديود ". "what size  are they? They  are real , right?" . The only thing that he hadn't said is 'can i touch them?'

My jaw dropped. Seriously dude, is this your best dating behaviour? Your conversation starter?

I was still shocked, and he was still staring 12 CMS below my face. Finally ,  I had to tell him we are not talking  ديود talk. He started asking me about my life with his fixed on my ديود
Two  minutes later , i left the place.

The moral of the story : Men talk to boo*s, and will continue to do so because they haven't realised yet that boo*s don't talk. They still stare at them waiting for words  that will never be uttered. Unfortunately , Boo*s don't talk.
The world Boo* is not in its right spelling  as it is a profanity, so the blog isn't allowing me to write in proper spelling in English it. In case you were wondering :)
And if someone is wondering what is ديود , its   woman's breasts.

Word of mouth

I have received a couple of emails  asking me whether these 'incidents' are real or  was I just making them up. Its all true, it al  happened to me or to one of my close friends. Nothing is fictional , nothing is made up.
I would love to post stories that happened to guys. The dating scenes has a lot of funny stories happening to men  .  Feel free to email me any worth mentioning dating incident.

The web cam affair

I don't know about you, but I don't use webcam. I don't switch mine on, and i don't accept video calls even if they were from Oprah Winfrey. There are  a lot of freaks out there and i don't like to take any chances. No offence Oprah.

That being said , i am not a "معقدة" kind of person. I just believe that a photo is as good as a webcam to get to know how the other person looks like. You want to know more, meet the person up and get the real live feed.

On the dating scene , there are these men who are  all about webcam. As soon as someone ads you to their messenger , the first words that they type is "Do you have a webcam?'.

The answer to that question is very tricky. If you say No, well the messenger shows that u have a webcam (which is very stupid of  MSN)  and basically you are caught lying. If you say Yes, then of course "switch your cam on" is the next sentence that you will see  appearing on your chat window from  your chat partner.

The well mannered person in me tries to always be nice and to assume that not everyone who wants to use a webcam is a pervert sitting in their underwear. So i say " i do have a webcam, but i don't think that's the way to know a person, we can chat and if we get along, we meet up for coffee somewhere"

At that point, Mr. Chatter will respond with "انتي معقده منو يتزوجج مدام ابسط شي ما تبين تسوينه" "ترا انا ماقولج تعالي طلعي وياي كلها كام " .

This Scenario has happened so many times that its enough for me to call it a phenomenon. If you don't open your webcam to chatters , immediately you are diagnosed with Webcam Rex, you are officially a psychopath and closed minded . You will never ever date or marry and  you will miss your chance on becoming a porn movie star with tens of Youtube videos. That's something i will  live to  regret, or maybe not.

It's a matter of Trust

The song , Its a matter of trust by  Billy Joe is a  great songs.  I love  it.
(Here is the link , in case you want to listen to it while you continue reading)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yYchgX1fMw

Trust is a big issue in life and in dating of course. You need to trust people in order  for them to become credible.  My question is , how long does it take to trust someone, and how does that trust develop between two strangers? Very tricky question . Search no longer for answers. Men on the dating scene have got it figured out.
Apparently you should trust someone for any of the following reasons:
1-  Because they viewed your profile
2-  Because they contacted you
3-  Because they told you  their name, or what kind of car they drive or where they live
4-  If you have met them for coffee

Mr. Dater emailed me back  and forth. Right age group, right marital status, right sense of humor. So, he was eligible for a coffee .
We decided we  were meeting at one of the cafes one evening time . We  had an interesting time, talking about  general things. Interesting to talk to  but not to die for. Then again, we just met , how can i judge based upon an hour of  conversation?
So , walking back to the parking lot to go to my car , he walks me to the car. How sweet, acting like a true gentleman. Very impressive.
He asks me ' what are you doing now?"
Me" Going home  probably watch a movie or do some reading"
Mr. Dater " How about i come watch that movie with you "
Me" No, i don't invite strangers to my house"
Mr. Dater "Strangers . Strangers !!! S T R A N G E R S !!! " (i wish there were sound effects on  the blog so i can make you all hear how that sounded like)- "After  ALL this you are calling me a stranger? How can you ? I am shocked . Shocked AND hurt. You don't trust me after we shared coffee"

Mmm , apparently , i am an untrusting kind of person. Apparently  you are supposed to trust every person in this universe because they have spent an hour chatting with you , or more likely,  because they drink coffee. I guess that's why we have 76 branches of Starbucks in Kuwait. Starbucks is working on improving our trust issue with the over priced coffee. Who would have  known?
Note to Billy Joel : Do modify the words to Its a matter of Starbucks.

4 for the price of one

From my favorite co-dater

Ku- wait-a-minute! dating

Anonymous/Guest/Whatever

4 for the price of one (1)

One time, my galpal and I were driving down the street.  We looked over and a guy was smiling at us; which might have been fine, but his wife and his 2 kids were also in the car.  He proceeded to follow us all the way home, trying to give us his phone number! 

4 for the price of one (2)

On a related note, I was at the gas station a few years ago and a bearded dude pulled up to the pump across from me.  He had 3 women in the car wearing niqab.  He smiled and tried to talk to me,  much to the dismay (apparently) of the 3 veiled women.  I asked him, “Hey, isn’t 3 women enough?” and he replied, “No, and you are beautiful” with a big smile.  I burned rubber outa there.

Am too sexy for my shirt

You know the song "Am too sexy for my shirt" right ? if not , Youtube it and  listen to it.

Mr. Dater who has an  Iranian  Family name common in Kuwait was  two years younger than myself . He is single ,  never been married ( that should have given me a hint , right ?) , works as a marine engineer. He Speaks fluent EEnglish which is great   because its really hard to date someone who doesn't speak English and goes (hah) every time  i use an English name.

We agreed to meet at a restaurant, although that's totally against my policy. I usually prefer starbucks for first dates, keep it short and sweet. Anyway, Mr. Dater insisted we meet at a Posh restaurant .

So here we are  sitting there across the table looking at  each other after we exchanged greetings. Mr. Dater says :"how do u like me ?" - " Am Very good looking aren't I ?" "I am probably the only Kuwaiti with deep green eyes" . The list of self complements went on and on and on. The dude is worse than a girl fishing for compliments on  prom night.

I am , as you know by now , a very well mannered person. I smiled as i listened to Mr. Dater talking about bow beautiful his long fingers, how  sexy his deep voice is, how his full lips are symmetrically shaped. In my head am going " WTF " .

The waiter come  to take our order and Mr. dater asked him to come back. Of course , who would want someone to interrupt them while going on a self praise prolonged session?

Finally after maybe 15 minutes of this self compliment session, he looked at me and said "Honestly , did you think i was this good looking ?" . I smiled,  what can i say ? Then he says " Did you think that someone like YOU could possibly  date someone like Me ? " .

Sitting at the receiving end of this stupid self praise monologue , i was thinking , I will not  just  grab my stuff and leave. Revenge is a must, even if  in a silly way.

So i give Mr, Dater my biggest smile ever, " Lets order shall we? I do want to know  more about you" .I forgot to mention that Mr. Dater doesn't eat chicken. I literally ordered half the menu, all chicken , all the way. I even ordered the dessert . I waited for the food to come. Finally , the food is here  & the waiter came and started bringing one dish after the other. I said 'Bring everything all at once, please".In few minutes,  the food was there on the table ,  food for probably 6 people.

I grabbed my purse and walked out.

Revenge  by over ordering was not bad at all . The bill was probably close to  80 KD almost all in chicken dishes that Mr. Dater wont be eating or taking away in take out packages.

As they say "Revenge is a dish better served cold" ,  cold  and in a variety of chicken dishes. 

Do You live alone ?

From my favorite co-dater

Ku- wait-a-minute! dating

Anonymous/Guest/Whatever

“Do you live alone?”

If you are a single and non-Kuwaiti  woman living in Kuwait, lots of men think that it is acceptable to go back to your place to date.  The #1 question I get asked is “Do you live alone?”  followed by, “why don’t we eat at your place instead?”  No…. because I don’t invite strangers to my home – ever.  And I don’t invite a lot of people that I know well, either.  If I’m ready, I’ll invite you.  If not, don’t ask.  The next step is to get the look of confusion/dismay.  I’m sure that they were all ready to come over and get right to business because (according to the twisted mentality) “it is okay in your culture.”    Emmmmm….. Says who?

The trick here is to flip it:  “Do you live alone?  Where do you live?  Oh, with your family?  What time should I be there for lunch/dinner?”   Nervous laughter from him usually ensues and dude usually says something like, “Uh, but you can’t.  I live with my family!”  So??  What makes you think it is okay to come to my home if I can’t go to yours?  But hey, if it is too much of a problem for you, I am ready for you to take me to a nice restaurant (without a cabina) now….

Flip the dress code

I don't know about you, but usually I like to  leave a good impression.

On my dates , i dress up (not the Kuwaiti style & I don't wear my fur coat  nor my ruffle silk dress either), i wear my favorite perfume , Wear make up (again not the Kuwaiti style). Simple but adequately elegant. So, I am meeting this guy for a  first date . Mr. Dater is a university professor , teaches Poetry (romantic, right? ).  There is something about men who recite poetry  that just captures my attention. It gives this impression of sophistication and intelligence.

Mr. Dater  says to me  while we are deciding on the when/where " I like women who are at ease, natural, No need to dress up and be elaborate . Simplicity is beauty'" . Now, what woman doesn't like hearing these words? Finally , a guy who is about internal beauty and character. The perfect man.

As usual, my date is over coffee. I am waiting for Mr. Dater who arrives right on time . Good job. Nothing  impresses me like a man who comes on time .

Mr. Dater is wearing what seems like jogging pants and a sweatshirt . Not an Adidas or  a Puma. Mr. Dater is wearing a PYJAMA ! the type that looks like a track suite.  To  go with that he is wearing flip flops.

WTF . 

The moral is , If a guy says don't dress up, he is coming in flip flops.

The online dating dictionary

I know if you are reading this blog, then you do read and understand English. What you don't know, is that in the dating world , words and sentences mean something else, nothing is as it seems.

Questions and their meaning

Q Do you live alone  ?

Real meaning :  Will i be able to come and get laid .

Q How old are your children ?

Real meaning : Put them to sleep. I want tocome over &  get laid

Q Do you know how to cook?

Real meaning : Invite  me over b***** i want to get laid

Q What are you wearing now ? (asked  usually late at night)

Real meaning : say you wearing something sexy coz i want to get laid and your not letting me, i might as well fantasize.

Q Don't you get lonely living alone ?

Real meaning : Don't you want to get laid ?

Q you have been single all this time ?

Real meaning : Don't you want to get laid ?

Q R u romantic ?

Real meaning : are you a sex maniac or not ?

Q: Do you want to have dinner ?

Real meaning : Can i have dinner at your place and get laid ?

No matter what the question a man asks, the real meaning is almost always "can I get laid ?"

There are exceptions, very few rare men who don't ask these questions probably coz they just got laid .

More on Online Dating in Kuwait

Received from a co-dater in Kuwait  

Ku- wait-a-minute! dating
Guest writer

Online Dating in Kuwait

This topic could fill an entire blog by itself.  First, everybody is married or a teenager.  The married guys think it is okay to cheat – even to marry temporary or “official” 2^nd wives.  The teenagers believe that age, “aint no thang – just a numba.”   Get used to it.  No one tells the truth.  It’s all games. 

To try to circumvent the married men, the following is an excerpt from my online profile:

Disclaimer: Please - if you are married, just move on. I will find out and I won't be discreet in my displeasure. Love the one your with or divorce and find the one you will.

Disclaimer Subsection A: Definition of "Marriage". The state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. This does not pertain to "sleeping in another bedroom"; "having sex with her, but thinking of you"; "she's living with her parents, but we're not divorced yet"; "I'm still married, but I don't have a girlfriend right now".

Disclaimer Sub-Section B: Definition of "Divorced": The action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage. This means that you actually have a divorce decree (piece of paper) by government/law.

For those guys who have clicked the "single" box, when in fact you are either sub-section A or sub-section B above, I am not interested in meeting you. Refer to disclaimer paragraph 1.

Honestly dudes - how reliable can you be if you already have marital obligations? GET REAL. Get divorced. Get on with it.

­­

I have had different profiles on different online dating sites.  What I have found is that the same guys are on most of the sites as well – also with different profile names.  The pool is small.  Some of my girlfriends who are online exchange information with me about the same guys we have dated over the years.

I know of a western woman who got married to a” single Kuwaiti” man she met online.  He’s not Kuwaiti, and married with 9 children.  It was love, they got married anyways.  One of my friends also met him online (supposedly several years before his wife met him) and said that dude was looking for a western wife.  She also said that he couldn’t keep his hands to himself (or that he did actually put his hands on himself when not on her).  Ew

I have caught my friends’ boyfriends searching for women online (and brought it to friends’ attention) and I once dated a Kuwaiti guy who turned out to be my friend’s x-husband (although we think they were still together when I dated him).  It is a small world.

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