Thursday, September 15, 2011

Dr. Who & Mr. Google.

So, back  to dating .
On this site , that has a name which implies "marriage" , i received an email from this seemingly  decent guy just asking me to email him back on his personal email. Back and forth with emails , we exchanged personal emails. He was a very straightforward guy, my  kind of guy.

SO, when we came to the point of exchanging phone numbers to actually talk, i asked him , is this Dr.T , your real name ? He said , no , my name is Dr. Q.

A very unsual name for this part of the world. Mmmm. My response was" is this really your name?", and he said don't you think if i wanted to lie,  i would at least come up with a name that matches my nationality ? Good argument. Valid point. I asked him if he was on Facebook or LinkedIn and he said he is not an 'online person' .

So, we spoke on the phone and Dr. Q was reluctant to give any personal information. I asked questions like , what kind of doctor are you ? Where did you study medicine? where  do you work ?All my questions were answered with one asnwer, i do not wish to give personal information. FINE.
This is what i cant understand, how do  you expect to know someone when you don't really say anything about yourself or give them a chance to find out who you are?

I can find anything on Google. I can  proudly say that Google is my best friend, and if  Google was a man, i would  be dating him. Anyway, so after a nice long talk with the mystery doctor, i went online and googled his unusual name first name and what do you know, Google saved the day.

Dr. Q who runs one of the major hospitals was in almost every newspaper. There were photos, press releases, newsletters, you name it, it was there on Google with his name and pic all over. I even found where he studied medicine, year of graduation and his classmates.

The next day Dr. Q called me , and me being the naiive person that i am , told him proudly that i did look him up online. "There is so much about you online on Google. So much for someone who doesn't really want to be known ". He was shocked and his response was that i should ask him before i google him. He was so upset that he accused me of invading his privacy and spying. My argument was i only googled two word , the country and your first name, thats hardly invading privacy.

As you can guess, we are not talking.

The moral of the story is : I can find anything on Google.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Thor - The movie

Thor,  another marvel comics movie, was available in the cinemas across  the country in 3-d.

So, my date, was  an ex-diplomat. I must say, extremely well mannered on the phone and with a very high adherence to protocol, after all he was a diplomat in Britain.

Mr. Dater being the very thoughtful person that he is, am not sarcastic, asked me  when we would meet . I was looking forward to meeting him since he had all these amazing funny stories. He was great conversationalist . We agreed on going out for dinner. Which we did, and I had a great time. Mr. Sweet Dater suggested that we do one of my two favorite things, either we go to the cinema or go  to the chocolate bar. That is an offer i cant refuse and being the movie/cinema buff that i am , i chose we go to the cinema.

We went to the movie, Thor in 3-D. I did ask him before we went in if cinema was  his thing and the response was "of course darling, i love movies. I go to the cinema  ALL the time".

We booked our seas and went in, we were handed those silly glasses for the 3-D films.
The movie started . "Oh this is a kids movie " Mr. Dater said. "No, its a marvel comics movie" was my response. Seconds later , he went on, "You know who the actor looks like ?", " he looks like Muhanad , that Turkish actor". I said that  he was right and the actor does really look like him.
The movie was about 15 minutes on when he started fidgeting like a 5 year old , " So you like movies",
"Whats your favorite movie ? " he asked.  I said  i can write him a list of my favorite movies and send it to him by e-mail if he needs some recommendations.
Few more minutes went by then Mr. Dater  said "When is the intermission ? is there no break in the movie ?" . I politely and very calmly said no, there wasn't . They stopped intermissions in the cinemas few years ago.
After few minutes he went on, "When i was 12 , I travelled on my own for two weeks. I had a great time. When was the first time you travelled on your own ?"
In my head this voice  is telling me this is a total waste of a good movie. I might as well just stop watching and indulge in conversation. I  politely told him that we can actually leave the cinema and we did not  have to watch. He was relieved at the suggestion. 

Dragging my self out of the chair and staring back at the handsome Thor with his muscular biceps and triceps, i walked out of that theater. Bummer.

A week later Mr. Dater called me and was so excited to announce to me that they are releasing Scream 4 in the cinemas . He  asked me "When are we going ?", Of course the answer was never.

The moral of the story is 'do not ruin a good movie by going to watch it on a date'.if someone hasn't been to the cinema in the past few years, they are not cinema -date material. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

The exorcist & Gadget Suicide

The exorcist, 1973 horror movie, which i havent seen. Why ?  Coz i get scared shit from horror movies, horror stories, ghost stories, supernatural things in general. I havent seen a horro movie nor woulr do so in any stage of my life.

So ,  here is the story. This Mr. Dater seemed nice and very well read. Its good to hang out with someone who does know how to carry a conversation about something other than cars, stocks and Bokhoor

We agreed we will  meet up for lunch, and he insisted he picks me up like a true gentleman. How sweet!

He picked me up and started driving and  said i will have to trust him. He is gonna take me to this small joint that serves Thai food downtown. Fine, am all up for trying new things. We reached the restaurant,  the set up was not fancy but food was good and different . Mr. Dater kept talking  about different subjects then finally I opened up about the Gadget Suicide.
Gadget suicide is when u intend to change one of your appliances then strange enough, the one that you currently have mysteriously stops working, as if it got to know your wicked intention of  getting rid of it.

Mr. Dater who was sitting across the table, asked  if it was OK for him to come sit next to me. Mmm creepy perhaps ? well, before i even had time to respond, there he was , next to me. He said he trusts me so much after me telling him about gadget suicide. He now can trust me and tell me about his own supernatural experience. I was sitting there, dumbfounded. I hope he isn't gonna tell me he has seen a ghost  coz that's gonna scare the hell out of me.
I said "  you know, i am not a fan of hearing stories about ghost sightings or anything of the sort.  I get scared easily".
He replied " Oh no, you will have to get used to my stories coz i have so many of them. I have been possessed and got cured  and now  am practising to become an E X O R C I S T".
All i could think was  WHAT THE F ***!
Needless to say, without further ado, i  said i have this horrible  headache  and i wanted to go home right now, we left. On the way home , I couldn't speak a word. I was so happy to reach home.

The moral of the story is if someone sounds so intellectual and well read, he might be possessed by a demon.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Thanks to everyone for reading

To those of you who keep coming back for more,  I will be back to writing soon.  Let's just say i have been working on collecting some material for the posts :P
I have been busy with work, but as of tomorrow, i will  be dedicating a fixed time for writing on the blog.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Can we say so ?

Copied and pasted from an email from a male reader.

Can We say so?

I was chatting with this lovely young lady last month...ya know, daily general issues trying to read between lines to know each others more.

Few days later, she told me that I'm a great person, but TOO MUCH FOR HER!!!
OK?....(we do use those words when we want to break up "smoothly"....Don't we?!

Surprise was, She asked me if she can introduce me to one of her friends whom is intelligent and has the same interest of mine and whom is SEARCHING my personality type....!!!!!

okay, I replied...networking will kill no one...

.....and I'm glad she did!....The lady she introduced is one of my best friends now and I'm so proud to have one.

My question is, If I say to a woman you're not my type and I want to introduce you to a guy who is, would she say Yes, or she'll be offended and reply with anger "I can handle,and have a long list of admirers waiting, and for the records you were at eh end of the list"???????

I'd love to hear comments from women on your blog too...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Read before you write

A lot of people who use online dating know that sometimes people just email you becasue they had seen the photo  or simply because u were on the online users list at the time he /she wrote the email.

I always look at  the persons profile before i email him and if someone emails me i always  look at his profile before i reply. Common sense, right ?

Apparently not everyone has common sense.
I received this email

'Hello there,
I really felt like writing to you after reading your profile carefully. I feel we have some similarities and we are looking for he same things. I don't judge people by the looks but its also good to be with someone who is beautiful on the inside and the outside. The picture you have on your profile captured my attention, something in your eyes just spoke to me.'

Now, i was happy reading the email till the last sentence, till "my eyes captured his attention and actually (spoke) to him",  I didn't know my eyes could do speak to people especially when there are no photos of me or my eyes on my profile.

Dating tip of the day : Actually look at the profiles of the person you are writing to. Its common sense and common courtesy.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Some women are like ..

Some women are like

All are beautiful, but they are cold as ice.

Everything is stored in long-term memory for easy retrieval later on.

They are cuddly and playful, but watch out when their claws come out!

They love to repeat things.

A game of Scrabble.
Their vocabulary is endless and always in play.

Christmas Trees.
The more gifts they have, the merrier they become.

They beautiful to look at, but hard to keep.

Some men are like

Some men are like

They're cute at first, but you soon tired of picking up their crap.

Remote controls.
Chances are you'll find them lying by the TV.

Parking spaces at a popular mall.
The good ones are all taken.

In order to get their attention, you must first turn them on.

Fine wine.
They take a long time to mature.

If they sit too long, they become lumpy.

They run at the first sign of tears.

They on appear only when there is food on the table.

Only moving objects get their attention.

They take up too much space on the bed..

They're easy to catch with food.

Text Messages.
The shorter the message, the easier it is for them to understand

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Book Club

I was chatting back and forth with this 'seemingly ' intelligent and cultured guy. He was very well read and can carry conversation on many topics. Perfect.

 "I love reading, I have thousands of books on various topics. Do you like reading ?"  he asked me on the phone one time. I don't like reading and i cant pretend  so i said "honestly no, i  have the concentration spam of a gold fish , 3 seconds. By the time i read  two pages of any novel, i cant remember what had happened  on the first page", " i do read a lot of magazines and articles though" ( after all i don't want to be totally ignorant, do I ?) .
He said maybe one night we can go to the book club, it might be something to encourage you to read. The idea was not appealing to me, i know myself. I will never be able to read a book and sit in a room full of people to discuss it. I told Mr. Dater that maybe there are other things we could do together for a date, but maybe the book club is just not for me.
On one  evening, Mr. Dater called me and said he has a book that he wants me to read and that maybe we can 'discuss ' it after  I had read it. "please don't say no till you try reading it" he begged.
This is gonna turn into a situation here. "OK , fair enough, I will try reading ".
We met for coffee one evening, our first date, we spoke  about different things,  as usual. When it was time to leave , Mr.  Dater walked me to my car and said that he has something in his car for me and asked if I would wait for a  minute while he gets it.
I waited in excitement , wondering what it was. 
Mr. Dater came back with a rectangular shaped package wrapped in pink wrapping paper. Mmm , i was wondering what that is,maybe a book or a box of chocolate .
I opened the door to my car and he  asked me to open this when i reach home and he said maybe this will give us  something to do on our next date. I was thinking to myself  'its definitely chocolate ' or ' Maybe he really wants to do this book club thing and this is the book am supposed to read'
I went home, and unwrapped the package, not chocolate.  

The package had a  book. " The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra ". A very subtle hint to what he had in mind for  our next date.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Habibti Mariam

Well, this is definitely not something you usually see written in  a dating profile .

A gentleman has this written in his bio:
I am only here for my Habibtii Mariam. Always and forever my soul mate and LOVE OF MY LIFE! About me:
About me :
My Habibtii Mariam has my heart, mind and soul. She is my Master, and I am her Master. When we are together magic happens.
         I'm looking for:
She knows who she is. And she is smiling :-) She is my perfect match and I will never let her go.
Relationship status:  In a relationship ( Relationship with Mariam, I assume)
The question is if  Mr. Dater and Mariam have hooked up, why  is his profile still on the dating site ?

Explanation # 1 :Maybe this is his  way to tell the world that online dating actually works, and you can find your soul mate , the love of your life, never ending love,etc,etc,etc.

Explanation # 2: Mr. Dater and Mariam maybe need to spice up their life a little and want some extra curriculum action .

Note to Mariam : I  hope you know that you have this head over heels admirer and that  he isn't some Internet stalker. I wish i could read your profile, if you have one ,to see if this is mutual.

How to spot a married dater

I was chatting with a gentleman today who told me about his dating  experience. He had dated a lady for 9 months before she came clean and told him that she was married. Nine months, yes. I don't know how she could  pull that off .

This post is intended to  give you some help on how to spot if the person  your dating is 'really' single or if he /she has a wife or husband at home.

If he /she never answers your calls, but always makes a point of calling you  back
If he /she carry more than one  phone, and  you have only  a number for only one of the phones
if he /she makes a point when you meet to meet up in an area as far as possible from where they  live
if he/she never calls you when they are actually at home  but   call you when they are in the car or at work,
If he /she switches the phone off when they are home
If he /she avoids appearing in a crowded  public place with you
If he /she  insists on having meals in restaurants with private cabins
if he /she always always puts you on hold to take a  call waiting, but  never answers you when they are on  another call
If he /she doesn't call or meet up on weekends or public holidays
If  he  asks you not  to wear make up when you meet up (just in case it smears his dishdasha or shirt)
If he/she disconnects the call abruptly in the middle of conversation and  does not call you back right away

Monday, December 6, 2010

Doctor, can you do a quick check up ?

OK , i just saw this and i could not not share it. A guy on a dating site, could not come up with a nickname other than


And for the readers  who do not know what a gynecologist is , here is the definition "A doctor who specializes in treating diseases of the female reproductive organs" & in Arabic" طبيب امراض نساء و ولادة"
I find this very weird.  Did the doctor think that this is his strength point  on a dating site ? Maybe  the ladies on the site might  want  him to take a quick look , down there ? Or maybe  he has better chances than the rest of the guys because he is an expert  on the female organs ?

I think i am going to write a book on how to pick nicknames.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Drama for Dummies

How  to spot a drama queen  or king  before reading the profile ?

Easy .Very simple. People with drama tendencies try and hide amongst  us, blend in . Of course a lot of them are so well disguised that  you will need time to spot them, however , some of  them   are so obvious.
Here are some examples of nicknames for some drama lovers . Names are copied from a popular Arabic  dating site.

SadMan  (very self explanatory)
BrokenHeart2008 (i guess the heart got broken 2008 and hasn't been fixed yet)
JulietHasAGun (A Juliet with a gun , ready to shoot )
LoveNomore (be warned , no love coming your way from this person
NoLove4Me (she is not looking for love, so i wonder what she is looking for )
MalekAlA7zan (king of sadness- This is Drama in the flesh )
Alam (pain)
QalbiYe3warni (my heart is aching - Probably in the rebound phase, be warned)
IcantBreathe (perhaps a  visit to the doctor is more appropriate than registering on a dating site ?)
DyingBird (I wonder if he is still alive now)
Osfoora7azina (Sad bird)
SaveMe  (from  yourself, perhaps ?)
Sha3erAlAlam  (the poet of sadness - In pain and a poet, look no further . Real drama here)
AlamAlLeel (the pains of the night- does that mean the mornings are pain free ? or does it mean that night has the ability to inflict pain ?)

If these people were not drama lovers, they surely have made a bad bad choice when they  picked up their nicknames.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

The honest truth

A  REAL conversation that took place between a female i know and a guy that she chatted with.
Mr.Dater chatted with my friend for sometime, and she thought  he is OK.  He asked her for her phone number, and she gave it to him. My friend is an American , and Mr. Dater is a German, not that nationalities matter .
Mr. Dater calls my friend and after the greetings that lasted maybe less than a minute the  following conversation took place:

Mr. Dater: Would you like to meet up for coffee ?
My friend : Sounds good.
Mr. Dater : Perhaps coffee then we can have sex ?
My friend  laughs and says : Noooo (she  thinks he is joking )
Mr. Dater : Perhaps Lunch then we can have sex ?
My friend , laughing : Nooooo (she  still thinks he is joking )
Mr. dater : Maybe dinner then sex ?
My friend : NOOOO
Mr. Dater : Perhaps just sex then ?
At that point my friend realised that Mr. Dater is not joking. I assume she still said no .

The moral of the story is; Germans  are great , very  serious & straightforward. When a German asks you if you want to have sex, he is not joking.

No offence  intended to any nationality .

Friday, December 3, 2010

There will be blood

We had been  chatting for weeks, on and off.  Mr. Dater was not the creepy type (which is very rare ), Intelligent, smart, well -read   and has a very strong personality . He says he believes in women's role in society and  he supports women in every  possible way . Perfect .

We decide to meet up for dinner  one evening. "where would you prefer to go ?:" .I  am very easy to please when it comes to food, i can eat anything anywhere. "Your choice, am flexible", i  said.
We agreed to have dinner at a famous steak  restaurant.  I arrived in time, and he was there on time.  So far , so good.
The smiley waitress comes to hand the menus. He  asked me if I would like him to  order for me , and i said I  prefer to order myself since i know what i want anyway, you can never go wrong with Steak Au Poivre. I told the  waitress  my order and she said "ma'am  you want that well done ?" , I replied "medium rare". the waitress said but madam that will be pink from the inside.  I said that i did know that , and that's what i will  be having. Thanks for your concerns but i love my steak  medium rare.
My Dater placed his order then the waitress left.  I was looking at my mobile phone and when i lifted my  face up , Mr. Dater was staring at me , with a weird crooked smile on his face he said "women should not eat food   that  rough cowboys eat". HUH, WTH  was this all about , He continued saying  "maybe you should reconsider your choice, women are delicate creatures, perhaps some juice in their steak is not appropriate, women are not vampires".
At this point i was finding this very amusing and very funny  . So i gave him my  best smile ever and i said " what can i say, I love some blood in my meat, perhaps i was a vampire in a past life OR maybe i am  a vampire in this life". He gave me this icy  stare  and said "You are not funny".  (Moron, of course am funny, you , however are  a control freak)
The food came, we ate in silence and he did not look once at me. I had this urge to leave but I was gonna have my pinky bloody cowboy steak even  if the sky collapsed over my head.
After that Steak dinner we  never spoke to each other again.

The moral of the story : If you like your steak medium rare,  control freaks  might think you are a vampire.