Thanks to everyone for reading

To those of you who keep coming back for more,  I will be back to writing soon.  Let's just say i have been working on collecting some material for the posts :P
I have been busy with work, but as of tomorrow, i will  be dedicating a fixed time for writing on the blog.

Can we say so ?

Copied and pasted from an email from a male reader.

Can We say so?

I was chatting with this lovely young lady last month...ya know, daily general issues trying to read between lines to know each others more.

Few days later, she told me that I'm a great person, but TOO MUCH FOR HER!!!
OK?....(we do use those words when we want to break up "smoothly"....Don't we?!

Surprise was, She asked me if she can introduce me to one of her friends whom is intelligent and has the same interest of mine and whom is SEARCHING my personality type....!!!!!

okay, I replied...networking will kill no one...

.....and I'm glad she did!....The lady she introduced is one of my best friends now and I'm so proud to have one.

My question is, If I say to a woman you're not my type and I want to introduce you to a guy who is, would she say Yes, or she'll be offended and reply with anger "I can handle,and have a long list of admirers waiting, and for the records you were at eh end of the list"???????

I'd love to hear comments from women on your blog too...

Read before you write

A lot of people who use online dating know that sometimes people just email you becasue they had seen the photo  or simply because u were on the online users list at the time he /she wrote the email.

I always look at  the persons profile before i email him and if someone emails me i always  look at his profile before i reply. Common sense, right ?

Apparently not everyone has common sense.

I received this email

'Hello there,

I really felt like writing to you after reading your profile carefully. I feel we have some similarities and we are looking for he same things. I don't judge people by the looks but its also good to be with someone who is beautiful on the inside and the outside. The picture you have on your profile captured my attention, something in your eyes just spoke to me.'

Now, i was happy reading the email till the last sentence, till "my eyes captured his attention and actually (spoke) to him",  I didn't know my eyes could do speak to people especially when there are no photos of me or my eyes on my profile.

Dating tip of the day : Actually look at the profiles of the person you are writing to. Its common sense and common courtesy.

Some women are like ..

Some women are like

Comets.
All are beautiful, but they are cold as ice.

Computers.
Everything is stored in long-term memory for easy retrieval later on.

Cats.
They are cuddly and playful, but watch out when their claws come out!

Parrots.
They love to repeat things.

A game of Scrabble.
Their vocabulary is endless and always in play.

Christmas Trees.
The more gifts they have, the merrier they become.

Giraffes.
They beautiful to look at, but hard to keep.

Some men are like

Some men are like

Puppies.
They're cute at first, but you soon tired of picking up their crap.

Remote controls.
Chances are you'll find them lying by the TV.

Parking spaces at a popular mall.
The good ones are all taken.

Computers.
In order to get their attention, you must first turn them on.

Fine wine.
They take a long time to mature.

Oatmeal.
If they sit too long, they become lumpy.

Mascara.
They run at the first sign of tears.

Silverware.
They on appear only when there is food on the table.

Cats.
Only moving objects get their attention.

Dogs.
They take up too much space on the bed..

Fish.
They're easy to catch with food.

Text Messages.
The shorter the message, the easier it is for them to understand

The Book Club

I was chatting back and forth with this 'seemingly ' intelligent and cultured guy. He was very well read and can carry conversation on many topics. Perfect.

 "I love reading, I have thousands of books on various topics. Do you like reading ?"  he asked me on the phone one time. I don't like reading and i cant pretend  so i said "honestly no, i  have the concentration spam of a gold fish , 3 seconds. By the time i read  two pages of any novel, i cant remember what had happened  on the first page", " i do read a lot of magazines and articles though" ( after all i don't want to be totally ignorant, do I ?) .

He said maybe one night we can go to the book club, it might be something to encourage you to read. The idea was not appealing to me, i know myself. I will never be able to read a book and sit in a room full of people to discuss it. I told Mr. Dater that maybe there are other things we could do together for a date, but maybe the book club is just not for me.

On one  evening, Mr. Dater called me and said he has a book that he wants me to read and that maybe we can 'discuss ' it after  I had read it. "please don't say no till you try reading it" he begged.

This is gonna turn into a situation here. "OK , fair enough, I will try reading ".

We met for coffee one evening, our first date, we spoke  about different things,  as usual. When it was time to leave , Mr.  Dater walked me to my car and said that he has something in his car for me and asked if I would wait for a  minute while he gets it.

I waited in excitement , wondering what it was. 

Mr. Dater came back with a rectangular shaped package wrapped in pink wrapping paper. Mmm , i was wondering what that is,maybe a book or a box of chocolate .

I opened the door to my car and he  asked me to open this when i reach home and he said maybe this will give us  something to do on our next date. I was thinking to myself  'its definitely chocolate ' or ' Maybe he really wants to do this book club thing and this is the book am supposed to read'

I went home, and unwrapped the package, not chocolate.  

The package had a  book. " The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra ". A very subtle hint to what he had in mind for  our next date.

Habibti Mariam

Well, this is definitely not something you usually see written in  a dating profile .

A gentleman has this written in his bio:

I am only here for my Habibtii Mariam. Always and forever my soul mate and LOVE OF MY LIFE! About me:

About me :

My Habibtii Mariam has my heart, mind and soul. She is my Master, and I am her Master. When we are together magic happens.

         I'm looking for:

She knows who she is. And she is smiling :-) She is my perfect match and I will never let her go.

Relationship status:  In a relationship ( Relationship with Mariam, I assume)

The question is if  Mr. Dater and Mariam have hooked up, why  is his profile still on the dating site ?

Explanation # 1 :Maybe this is his  way to tell the world that online dating actually works, and you can find your soul mate , the love of your life, never ending love,etc,etc,etc.

Explanation # 2: Mr. Dater and Mariam maybe need to spice up their life a little and want some extra curriculum action .

Note to Mariam : I  hope you know that you have this head over heels admirer and that  he isn't some Internet stalker. I wish i could read your profile, if you have one ,to see if this is mutual.

How to spot a married dater

I was chatting with a gentleman today who told me about his dating  experience. He had dated a lady for 9 months before she came clean and told him that she was married. Nine months, yes. I don't know how she could  pull that off .

This post is intended to  give you some help on how to spot if the person  your dating is 'really' single or if he /she has a wife or husband at home.

If he /she never answers your calls, but always makes a point of calling you  back

If he /she carry more than one  phone, and  you have only  a number for only one of the phones

if he /she makes a point when you meet to meet up in an area as far as possible from where they  live

if he/she never calls you when they are actually at home  but   call you when they are in the car or at work,

If he /she switches the phone off when they are home

If he /she avoids appearing in a crowded  public place with you

If he /she  insists on having meals in restaurants with private cabins

if he /she always always puts you on hold to take a  call waiting, but  never answers you when they are on  another call

If he /she doesn't call or meet up on weekends or public holidays

If  he  asks you not  to wear make up when you meet up (just in case it smears his dishdasha or shirt)

If he/she disconnects the call abruptly in the middle of conversation and  does not call you back right away

Doctor, can you do a quick check up ?

OK , i just saw this and i could not not share it. A guy on a dating site, could not come up with a nickname other than

gynecologist

And for the readers  who do not know what a gynecologist is , here is the definition "A doctor who specializes in treating diseases of the female reproductive organs" & in Arabic" طبيب امراض نساء و ولادة"

I find this very weird.  Did the doctor think that this is his strength point  on a dating site ? Maybe  the ladies on the site might  want  him to take a quick look , down there ? Or maybe  he has better chances than the rest of the guys because he is an expert  on the female organs ?

I think i am going to write a book on how to pick nicknames.

Drama for Dummies

How  to spot a drama queen  or king  before reading the profile ?

Easy .Very simple. People with drama tendencies try and hide amongst  us, blend in . Of course a lot of them are so well disguised that  you will need time to spot them, however , some of  them   are so obvious.

Here are some examples of nicknames for some drama lovers . Names are copied from a popular Arabic  dating site.

SadMan  (very self explanatory)

BrokenHeart2008 (i guess the heart got broken 2008 and hasn't been fixed yet)

JulietHasAGun (A Juliet with a gun , ready to shoot )

UnbreakMyHeart

BadLove

LoveNomore (be warned , no love coming your way from this person

NoLove4Me (she is not looking for love, so i wonder what she is looking for )

MalekAlA7zan (king of sadness- This is Drama in the flesh )

Alam (pain)

QalbiYe3warni (my heart is aching - Probably in the rebound phase, be warned)

IcantBreathe (perhaps a  visit to the doctor is more appropriate than registering on a dating site ?)

DyingBird (I wonder if he is still alive now)

Osfoora7azina (Sad bird)

SaveMe  (from  yourself, perhaps ?)

Sha3erAlAlam  (the poet of sadness - In pain and a poet, look no further . Real drama here)

AlamAlLeel (the pains of the night- does that mean the mornings are pain free ? or does it mean that night has the ability to inflict pain ?)

If these people were not drama lovers, they surely have made a bad bad choice when they  picked up their nicknames.

The honest truth

A  REAL conversation that took place between a female i know and a guy that she chatted with.

Mr.Dater chatted with my friend for sometime, and she thought  he is OK.  He asked her for her phone number, and she gave it to him. My friend is an American , and Mr. Dater is a German, not that nationalities matter .

Mr. Dater calls my friend and after the greetings that lasted maybe less than a minute the  following conversation took place:

Mr. Dater: Would you like to meet up for coffee ?

My friend : Sounds good.

Mr. Dater : Perhaps coffee then we can have sex ?

My friend  laughs and says : Noooo (she  thinks he is joking )

Mr. Dater : Perhaps Lunch then we can have sex ?

My friend , laughing : Nooooo (she  still thinks he is joking )

Mr. dater : Maybe dinner then sex ?

My friend : NOOOO

Mr. Dater : Perhaps just sex then ?

At that point my friend realised that Mr. Dater is not joking. I assume she still said no .

The moral of the story is; Germans  are great , very  serious & straightforward. When a German asks you if you want to have sex, he is not joking.

No offence  intended to any nationality .

There will be blood

We had been  chatting for weeks, on and off.  Mr. Dater was not the creepy type (which is very rare ), Intelligent, smart, well -read   and has a very strong personality . He says he believes in women's role in society and  he supports women in every  possible way . Perfect .

We decide to meet up for dinner  one evening. "where would you prefer to go ?:" .I  am very easy to please when it comes to food, i can eat anything anywhere. "Your choice, am flexible", i  said.

We agreed to have dinner at a famous steak  restaurant.  I arrived in time, and he was there on time.  So far , so good.

The smiley waitress comes to hand the menus. He  asked me if I would like him to  order for me , and i said I  prefer to order myself since i know what i want anyway, you can never go wrong with Steak Au Poivre. I told the  waitress  my order and she said "ma'am  you want that well done ?" , I replied "medium rare". the waitress said but madam that will be pink from the inside.  I said that i did know that , and that's what i will  be having. Thanks for your concerns but i love my steak  medium rare.

My Dater placed his order then the waitress left.  I was looking at my mobile phone and when i lifted my  face up , Mr. Dater was staring at me , with a weird crooked smile on his face he said "women should not eat food   that  rough cowboys eat". HUH, WTH  was this all about , He continued saying  "maybe you should reconsider your choice, women are delicate creatures, perhaps some juice in their steak is not appropriate, women are not vampires".

At this point i was finding this very amusing and very funny  . So i gave him my  best smile ever and i said " what can i say, I love some blood in my meat, perhaps i was a vampire in a past life OR maybe i am  a vampire in this life". He gave me this icy  stare  and said "You are not funny".  (Moron, of course am funny, you , however are  a control freak)

The food came, we ate in silence and he did not look once at me. I had this urge to leave but I was gonna have my pinky bloody cowboy steak even  if the sky collapsed over my head.

After that Steak dinner we  never spoke to each other again.

The moral of the story : If you like your steak medium rare,  control freaks  might think you are a vampire.

The other side of dating

Received from a MALE co-dater ( great,  for a change not all stories are from females ) , men too have stories to tell . Posted As is.

100% TRUE!

---

Mona sent me a “flower” on one of dating sites….a virtual flower with an “I’m interested” comment. I like ladies who take first moves, why not if she trusts herself?
We chatted for a few days; she was nice, smart, educated with sense of humor. She said she was looking for only a friend, and she was sick of men always asking for sex and talking about nothing but sex..and explained how much she felt comfortable talking to me since I’m “different”!!!
One night, She sent me a msg asking me to call her urgently if I can, I did and she was crying…She told me that she met someone, his name was Jasem, a Pilot ( why most men are Pilots on dating sites), and she loves the hell out of him….he told her LATER he is married with 2 kids…and was asking for some time to settle his family issues and come back to her to live happily forever…( typical BS story from Jasem).....

To cut the story short, I believed her ...and was acting like a TRUE FRIEND…and told her many times I’ll be there for her whenever she needs me….Being THAT friend whom supposed to be a good listener, and strong shoulder to rely on, my advice was to let him go, and I told her he is a liar and Bshitting, but she kept telling me (msgs, Emails) how sad she was…,Jasem is not returning my calls, Jasem went to Dubai, I miss Jasem….blah blah blah

A few days later, I was surprised she sent me her Pic without asking her, a cute beautiful baby face with a sexy body…and asked me for mine in return…RED FLAG!...I called her and said I don’t send my pics to anyone, and If she wants to see me, Starbucks is always there…she was like PLEAAAASSSE…….And, guess what…I sent her one!

Next day, I received the following msg from her “ I’m free tonight….If you want an erotic massage, it’ll cost you 40 KD for 2 hours, plus you pay for TAXI!.....

DUH!!!!....why should I pay for the Taxi too???...LOL

The moral is, Prostitutes are on dating sites too…

Microsoft Office Excel Dating

This is a true story. All the incidents or things i write here are, but this is just so shocking to me, that i had to remind you all that this actually did happen. I was told the events after the dating period between the couple ended.

 Nancy  and Barney (Not real names) worked together at the same company , she is an engineer and he is a financial controller , they come from  different Arab countries  and work in an international Oil company .

Anyway things did not work out after few months and they broke up. So, Barney came to Nancy's office after the break up with an excel sheet. He told her they have some matters to settle.

The excel sheet was an accounting  sheet of all the money they had  spent in cafes and restaurants during all the time they dated. They had somehow come to this policy where each one of them pays one time. So   Barney pays today at Sakura, Nancy pays tomorrow at Applebees, the next time Barney pays at Mais Al Ghanim the time after  Nancy pays  at  Le Notre.

Good policy or bad policy , i cant really  tell .  With all the talk  of women's equality, maybe it is justified that a highly paid woman should pay her  share in whatever food she is consuming while she is dating,  God knows. This is not the shocking part.

 Back to Barney and Nancy, so he is at her office with this Excel sheet that  registers every penny they spent while dining out together or going for coffee. He thinks there are few discrepancies that needed to be settled.

He says " see the highlighted fields, these times i paid more than what you paid on the following date, therefore, there are discrepancies that occurred. The amount you owe me due to the difference is KD 137. This copy is for your reference, Please arrange for payment" .

No comment needed .

A man with special needs

The below is  from a users profile on a  dating site for mesyar marriage. For those of you who are reading and don't know what mesyar is , it is a form of marriage where a man  goes to the lady every now and then, they don't live together, he is not supporting her, he is not responsible for any expenses  and when they divorce, she doesn't have any rights.

Usually both parties who get into this are  looking for a purely sexual relationship.

Read and weep , or read and laugh, depending on how sad or funny you may find this.

I have kept the text in Arabic , this is a copy and paste from the profile.

أدور واحده ترضي بالمسيار . لا تكون راعية مشاكل و نكد. تكون ما تسمع اغاني و لا تطالع التلفزيون و لا  تطلع من البيت  و تكون ساكنه في بيت اهلها  . المهم انها  ما تطلع  و لو تكون فيها شلل رباعي  يكون افضل المهم يكون عندها القدره علي الممارسه الجنسيه و ما تحتاج عنايه او يكون عندها خدامة تساعدها.

اللي تروح السوق و تطلع لا تراسلني

The translation of the above text:  i want to marry mesyar style, someone who is not into creating problems and drama, she should not listen to music , watch TV or go out. She should be living with her family . The most important thing is that she doesn't leave the house, Its even better if  she is a quadriplegic as long as she can have sex. If you are into going out to the malls, don't email me. 

 So, the dude wants to  make sure his wife is a stay home wife, to the extent that he prefers her to be a quadriplegic  as long as she can & will have sex.



Pathetic.