Read before you write

A lot of people who use online dating know that sometimes people just email you becasue they had seen the photo  or simply because u were on the online users list at the time he /she wrote the email.

I always look at  the persons profile before i email him and if someone emails me i always  look at his profile before i reply. Common sense, right ?

Apparently not everyone has common sense.

I received this email

'Hello there,

I really felt like writing to you after reading your profile carefully. I feel we have some similarities and we are looking for he same things. I don't judge people by the looks but its also good to be with someone who is beautiful on the inside and the outside. The picture you have on your profile captured my attention, something in your eyes just spoke to me.'

Now, i was happy reading the email till the last sentence, till "my eyes captured his attention and actually (spoke) to him",  I didn't know my eyes could do speak to people especially when there are no photos of me or my eyes on my profile.

Dating tip of the day : Actually look at the profiles of the person you are writing to. Its common sense and common courtesy.

Habibti Mariam

Well, this is definitely not something you usually see written in  a dating profile .

A gentleman has this written in his bio:

I am only here for my Habibtii Mariam. Always and forever my soul mate and LOVE OF MY LIFE! About me:

About me :

My Habibtii Mariam has my heart, mind and soul. She is my Master, and I am her Master. When we are together magic happens.

         I'm looking for:

She knows who she is. And she is smiling :-) She is my perfect match and I will never let her go.

Relationship status:  In a relationship ( Relationship with Mariam, I assume)

The question is if  Mr. Dater and Mariam have hooked up, why  is his profile still on the dating site ?

Explanation # 1 :Maybe this is his  way to tell the world that online dating actually works, and you can find your soul mate , the love of your life, never ending love,etc,etc,etc.

Explanation # 2: Mr. Dater and Mariam maybe need to spice up their life a little and want some extra curriculum action .

Note to Mariam : I  hope you know that you have this head over heels admirer and that  he isn't some Internet stalker. I wish i could read your profile, if you have one ,to see if this is mutual.

Drama for Dummies

How  to spot a drama queen  or king  before reading the profile ?

Easy .Very simple. People with drama tendencies try and hide amongst  us, blend in . Of course a lot of them are so well disguised that  you will need time to spot them, however , some of  them   are so obvious.

Here are some examples of nicknames for some drama lovers . Names are copied from a popular Arabic  dating site.

SadMan  (very self explanatory)

BrokenHeart2008 (i guess the heart got broken 2008 and hasn't been fixed yet)

JulietHasAGun (A Juliet with a gun , ready to shoot )

UnbreakMyHeart

BadLove

LoveNomore (be warned , no love coming your way from this person

NoLove4Me (she is not looking for love, so i wonder what she is looking for )

MalekAlA7zan (king of sadness- This is Drama in the flesh )

Alam (pain)

QalbiYe3warni (my heart is aching - Probably in the rebound phase, be warned)

IcantBreathe (perhaps a  visit to the doctor is more appropriate than registering on a dating site ?)

DyingBird (I wonder if he is still alive now)

Osfoora7azina (Sad bird)

SaveMe  (from  yourself, perhaps ?)

Sha3erAlAlam  (the poet of sadness - In pain and a poet, look no further . Real drama here)

AlamAlLeel (the pains of the night- does that mean the mornings are pain free ? or does it mean that night has the ability to inflict pain ?)

If these people were not drama lovers, they surely have made a bad bad choice when they  picked up their nicknames.

A man with special needs

The below is  from a users profile on a  dating site for mesyar marriage. For those of you who are reading and don't know what mesyar is , it is a form of marriage where a man  goes to the lady every now and then, they don't live together, he is not supporting her, he is not responsible for any expenses  and when they divorce, she doesn't have any rights.

Usually both parties who get into this are  looking for a purely sexual relationship.

Read and weep , or read and laugh, depending on how sad or funny you may find this.

I have kept the text in Arabic , this is a copy and paste from the profile.

أدور واحده ترضي بالمسيار . لا تكون راعية مشاكل و نكد. تكون ما تسمع اغاني و لا تطالع التلفزيون و لا  تطلع من البيت  و تكون ساكنه في بيت اهلها  . المهم انها  ما تطلع  و لو تكون فيها شلل رباعي  يكون افضل المهم يكون عندها القدره علي الممارسه الجنسيه و ما تحتاج عنايه او يكون عندها خدامة تساعدها.

اللي تروح السوق و تطلع لا تراسلني

The translation of the above text:  i want to marry mesyar style, someone who is not into creating problems and drama, she should not listen to music , watch TV or go out. She should be living with her family . The most important thing is that she doesn't leave the house, Its even better if  she is a quadriplegic as long as she can have sex. If you are into going out to the malls, don't email me. 

 So, the dude wants to  make sure his wife is a stay home wife, to the extent that he prefers her to be a quadriplegic  as long as she can & will have sex.



Pathetic.

Maths, Biology & Art

WHY does  someone lie on the physical description  they right about themselves (body description), especially if that person is constantly nagging to meet up? Could it be that when he wrote the profile he  did not think that far ahead, or maybe was hoping the lady would be blinded by his charm and wont notice , or simply plain good old fashioned stupidity.

I have not figured an  answer other than the simple fact that everybody lies. Here is a simple dating incident.

Most of the sites in the physical description part ask you to chose , height, wight, etc. Some of them ask a figure  while others have a selection of  words that you chose from.

So here i am going on a date with  Mr. Dater with the following attributes

Athletic (Plz note that there are other options like Average,  ample , a little extra padding, Big and tall )

190 cms (of course there are all the height options you can think of )

Mid tone  (This particular site goes by skin colour , so other options are white, mid tone , dark, black)

I walked into Starbucks and i was  greeted by  someone who is about 175, weighs at least 160 Kgs and is black. I was somewhat shocked, I definitely didn't expect Mr. dater to be short , fat and black.

Don't get me wrong, i am not a racist , i have nothing against fat people or darker skin tone or shorter people. I dont judge people by how they look but am against being lied to. Seriously , did  he think  maybe I wouldn't notice the description was totally different  ?

Anyway, so  he had the guts to ask me "Did  u think i looked like this? ". The man has steel balls, doesn't he ? well, two can play that game. I said "I think you miscalculated your weight perhaps OR mizankom 7`rban , as for the height , a lot of people don't actually know their height " .
He smiled at me , thought i was cute and  funny, till i continued " and your  skin colour is not mid tone, you are as black as possible " . He was shocked or embarrassed maybe. A couple of minutes later i left.

The moral is Truth never kills anyone, lying does.

I know i will say this over and over again; Everybody lies, however, men on dating sites lie more than the average person and think they will get away with it.

Profiles

What  were these guys thinking when they wrote their profiles!

I will start with a (slave profile) for those who read my post about slaves

حياكم الله فى البروفايل منورين
انا شخص عادى شخصيتي ضعيفه وفيني ميول واحب البنت تكون شخصيتها قويه تحب تتحكم فيني وتسوي الى تبيه واكون خاتم في اصبعها واتزوجها وتكون العصمه بيدها واكون كل شي لها وتصير عمتي

بسيط وصريح وهادئ وصبور وكتوم وخلوق وصادق ورومانسي احب الضحك والغشمرة وبنفس الوقت حساس وعلى فكرة احب الشعر ولي محاولات وسلامتكم وتعيشون ... ابي زوجة ثانية ومابي عيال ويفضل تكون عقيم او شايله الرحم

Another profile says :
حياتي بسيطه مابين النادي والدوام والبيت والحين صار وقت المخيمات اروح بعطلة الاسبوع.وحياتي الاجتماعيه يتيم:( واحب الهدوء والسفر طبعا كل ما مليت من روتيني اليومي سافرت.طيب واايد واخلاقي عاليه وما احب اذية الناس كلش وما احب استغل احد بشي ولا اصادق احد علشان مصلحه كلش احب اني اكون دايم انيق باللبس واحب البنت الانيقه واللي اتكون مهتمه بلبسها وشكلها وسلامتكم. اي وسيد بعد اذا تحتاجووون الدعاااء او ماي مقري عليه حاضر:))))

Another profile;

أبي كـرز .. أبي غنــج .. أبي جمره !!
 أبي عشرة عمر .. أبي كيكه ..